Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Rough Patch

Going through a bit of a rough patch and a very busy time at the moment. There is just so much going on and it is kind of doing my head in.

As I mentioned the wedding was fantastic, but certainly was not the end of my duties and responsibilities. As the happy couple were off swanning around the North Island (good on them), I was looking after my dad’s business emails and mail, and feeding the cat and watering the plants. Thankfully I didn’t kill the plants, although it did come close as I forgot about them for the first few days and thought they wouldn’t bounce back.

During this time Si’s parents made the move south from Auckland to Feilding, and things did not go smoothly at all. The moving company has given them a big run around which included losing a whole container of stuff, and then when it was delivered several items are missing and another 10 or so severely damaged. It has been very stressful on both of them, and Si’s dad had to go back to Auckland for another 2 weeks of work. He should be here this weekend hopefully and then the unpacking can begin in ernest.

We had a meeting with the ACC doctor for a check up as to where he is at and whether in their opinion he can go back to fulltime work. Well, the upshot of all of that is the ACC doctor cannot see any reason medically why Si cannot go back to fulltime work, he realizes that it will be very hard to adjust going back mentally, emotionally as well as just plan exhausting. So we are really happy about that, although it does mean that he now has got 4 weeks to find fulltime work……..and then his money stops…….so very very stressful.

On the work note. Si is currently working for us part time, which might lead to fulltime depending on the outcome of our tender to the Animal Health Board for the next 4 years. It is kinda of dependant if we actually grow or stay the same….if we get the same, then he will stay the same – ie part time, and we can’t afford to do that…..well we will until he finds something fulltime. But hopefully we will have grown in areas which mean that he will switch to fulltime and we will be working together. The problem here is that the tender result was expected mid to late February. Perfect timing you could say…….trouble is that we have heard that we can expect the result in at least 2- 3 weeks time, and that may even be longer…….so now we are at a dilemma, do we stick with the guaranteed part time and pretty good money, or try for fulltime work……..which will mean that if we get the tender we will have to find /train more staff..

We were also looking at the possibility of kids, but at the moment it just seems like that would be in the too hard basket – financially and emotionally. So I never thought I would hear myself say this, but hopefully I am not pregnant.

On the weightloss side of things, I have been losing slowly over the past few weeks and am now sitting at 102.3 kgs – which is a total loss of 74.7 kgs since I started this journey back in the last week of September 2007. I get a bit frustrated that the weightloss has slowed down to much and that when I look at the pics etc I still feel as wide as a house, especially on my bottom half. Now I also realize that I could have done more to help with the toning and weight loss, and that I have relied on the tool doing the majority of the work. Looking back this was not the smartest idea, but hell, can’t turn back time now, and have to just suck it up and move forward.

So sorry about the pity woe is me type of post, just trying to muddle through what feels very overwhelming at the moment.

Saturday, February 7, 2009


The wedding was fantastic, had a brilliant day/night. Went to bed around midnight and have been up since 5:30 am as I could not sleep. Hvae blisters galore and couldn't be happier.

WIll have some pics to share later, will be heading back to the venue to soon to do the cleanup and then spending time with the family.

Si's parents made an offer on a house here in Feilding, and it was accepted at 1pm yesterday afternoon, so we have all had a very very nice Waitangi Day 2009.

Back toupdate some pics......we have had a busy day. I have been up since 5:30 am this morning as I had a headache (not a hangover) and I could not sleep. Went back to the venue and got the presents, the cake and the photo's that were displayed back. Went to the couples house and dropped them all off. They were both looking a little worse for wear.

Had all of the family, brothers, nephews etc come and we all had lunch at Dad and Val's house. We went through a few of the photos and I found a couple of okay shots of me. I would really like th ehips to be a whole heap smaller, but ya can't help ya frame. So as you may have noticed I have changed the profile pic and then also added some of the Happy Couple (with their permission) Me and Si,Me and Dad and also one of Si's parents (with their permission)

Thursday, February 5, 2009

Been tagged - Honesty Scrap Award

Well, being tagged by Gastric Girl has brought me out of hiding....and I guess that is kinda what it is. I think that I am afraid to be too honest on here, as I wonder what people will think. I have always thought that I actually had my head around that, and I didn't really care what people though. But just goes to show you that I do.

Have had a really busy week with the lead up to the wedding. It is now in 1 more sleep, and I will be releived when it is over. I have now completed 90% of what needs to be done, but I still need to go and buy a lace horseshow for my neice to present, and as the foiled chocolate hearts have not arrived I have had to source and alternative supply....and another $60. I will confirm that if I have not received the chocolates in this mornings post. (They were apparently sent by overnight courier on Monday)

Si's parents are here again for both the wedding and looking at houses, so I took both Wednesday and today off to help them and finish up the wedding stuff.

I need to claryify what I meant about not posting and hating this blog. It is not that I hate it, I just really don't like the pressure (I put on myself) to come up with something witty or interesting. I guess it is another self esteem thing that I thought I had a handle on. I will be posting, but in my time, when I feel like I need to or want to share something. This will not be everyday - (I don't know how you guys do it)

Which brings me to the initial reason for this post. Gastric-girl tagged me and I felt complelled to do this, the rules are simple - list 10 honest things about yourself - and make it interesting, even if you have to dig deep! Then tag 7 bloggers that you feel embody the spirit of the Honest Scrap Award

Here goes

1. Well I think I touched on this in the above, but My self esteem is not as good as I thought, and I put pressure on myself.

2. I find it very hard to make friends and I overcompensate by being the talkative one when at group outings like our WLS support groups. (I have always been a talker - hence why going to broadcasting school - although I suck at public speaking)

3. I really want to start a family with my husband, but I am also really scared that I will stuff things up somehow and be the world's worst Mum. (Self esteem again).

4. I can't stand bad customer service and I will tell people off in public - ie - yesterday we were at a cafe ordering when this women pushed in front of the whole queue and tried to be served first. I juststood there in and extremely loud voice and said " Excuse me, he is serving us, and there are other people waiting" .......she slinked off to the back of the queue. I think this sometimes embarasses the people I am with, but I really can't stand rude people or bad customer service.

5. I am not coping with some aspects of my Dad's new marriage (well tomorrow) and that mainly comes down to me still grieving for my Mum. I also think that his new bride is a little nervous and hopefully she will settle down once they have got back form honeymoon.

6. I am in debt by about $100K to my Dad, and it is unlikely that I will ever own a house. (most of this came about by my op, a very bad car purchase (it was a lemon) and debt reconsolidation from both Si and myself.)

7. Although I am secure about my adoption when I was a baby, I still struggle a little with the fact I don't have a relationship with my half brothers and sister, for a variety of reason's.

8. I have always had an extremely weak bladder (since I was a kid)

9. I am feeling a little, okay a lot Jealous of those who are coming through the journey after me. Once again my own insecurities are playing a part here and I know that I had a whole heap more to lose than them and that I am a different height, body shape, history etc.......BUT I still get jealous pangs when I see them doing so well and being so excited.

10. I constantly break the rules of my pouch and I am not doing enough exercise wise to push me there. I am so wanting to get to as close to goal as possible, which for me is between 85 -90 kgs if you account for the excess skin I will have, which is only 14 kgs away, but can I do it?

So there you have it, some extremely honest things about now I would like to here 10 extremely honest things about

Chris H

Will also post some pics after the wedding, most likely on Sunday once the family have gone. Hopefully I will get a ncie one of Simon and I together.