Thursday, February 5, 2009

Been tagged - Honesty Scrap Award

Well, being tagged by Gastric Girl has brought me out of hiding....and I guess that is kinda what it is. I think that I am afraid to be too honest on here, as I wonder what people will think. I have always thought that I actually had my head around that, and I didn't really care what people though. But just goes to show you that I do.

Have had a really busy week with the lead up to the wedding. It is now in 1 more sleep, and I will be releived when it is over. I have now completed 90% of what needs to be done, but I still need to go and buy a lace horseshow for my neice to present, and as the foiled chocolate hearts have not arrived I have had to source and alternative supply....and another $60. I will confirm that if I have not received the chocolates in this mornings post. (They were apparently sent by overnight courier on Monday)

Si's parents are here again for both the wedding and looking at houses, so I took both Wednesday and today off to help them and finish up the wedding stuff.

I need to claryify what I meant about not posting and hating this blog. It is not that I hate it, I just really don't like the pressure (I put on myself) to come up with something witty or interesting. I guess it is another self esteem thing that I thought I had a handle on. I will be posting, but in my time, when I feel like I need to or want to share something. This will not be everyday - (I don't know how you guys do it)

Which brings me to the initial reason for this post. Gastric-girl tagged me and I felt complelled to do this, the rules are simple - list 10 honest things about yourself - and make it interesting, even if you have to dig deep! Then tag 7 bloggers that you feel embody the spirit of the Honest Scrap Award

Here goes

1. Well I think I touched on this in the above, but My self esteem is not as good as I thought, and I put pressure on myself.

2. I find it very hard to make friends and I overcompensate by being the talkative one when at group outings like our WLS support groups. (I have always been a talker - hence why going to broadcasting school - although I suck at public speaking)

3. I really want to start a family with my husband, but I am also really scared that I will stuff things up somehow and be the world's worst Mum. (Self esteem again).

4. I can't stand bad customer service and I will tell people off in public - ie - yesterday we were at a cafe ordering when this women pushed in front of the whole queue and tried to be served first. I juststood there in and extremely loud voice and said " Excuse me, he is serving us, and there are other people waiting" .......she slinked off to the back of the queue. I think this sometimes embarasses the people I am with, but I really can't stand rude people or bad customer service.

5. I am not coping with some aspects of my Dad's new marriage (well tomorrow) and that mainly comes down to me still grieving for my Mum. I also think that his new bride is a little nervous and hopefully she will settle down once they have got back form honeymoon.

6. I am in debt by about $100K to my Dad, and it is unlikely that I will ever own a house. (most of this came about by my op, a very bad car purchase (it was a lemon) and debt reconsolidation from both Si and myself.)

7. Although I am secure about my adoption when I was a baby, I still struggle a little with the fact I don't have a relationship with my half brothers and sister, for a variety of reason's.

8. I have always had an extremely weak bladder (since I was a kid)

9. I am feeling a little, okay a lot Jealous of those who are coming through the journey after me. Once again my own insecurities are playing a part here and I know that I had a whole heap more to lose than them and that I am a different height, body shape, history etc.......BUT I still get jealous pangs when I see them doing so well and being so excited.

10. I constantly break the rules of my pouch and I am not doing enough exercise wise to push me there. I am so wanting to get to as close to goal as possible, which for me is between 85 -90 kgs if you account for the excess skin I will have, which is only 14 kgs away, but can I do it?

So there you have it, some extremely honest things about now I would like to here 10 extremely honest things about

Chris H

Will also post some pics after the wedding, most likely on Sunday once the family have gone. Hopefully I will get a ncie one of Simon and I together.


  1. Hope the wedding goes well Janine:)

    Interesting reading your honesty post. I will do this - but it won't be today.

  2. I too will do it... don't know when but probably soon. Good on you for acknowledging and being so honest about things.

  3. Hey... are you the same "Janine" who donated to my MS150 effort? :)


  4. Ok I will do it, I need to do it...... hope all goes well tomorrow.

  5. Ok, if you mean me, I will do it too...

    You need to take a deep breath and think how far you have come, when I first started ready your blogs and seeing photos of your wedding then I realise how far you have come.

    Maybe set yourself a goal, like when you reach "whatever number of Kgs" do something, like renew your wedding vows, go somewhere beautiful with Si and some close friends and have a special time together,

    Just a thought

    Cheers babe

  6. Good luck with the wedding tomorrow & I hope everything settles down and reason prevails.

    Take some time for just you & Si to relax, you have been so busy running after everyone else between wedding stuff & house hunting.

  7. I'm glad you came out of hiding, and you know we're all here for you! I know what you mean about needing to feel that your blog is witty or clever. Don't feel the pressure, just keep us updated when you can! :)

  8. Hi Janine...I just came to your blog today through Gastric Girl...aka Laurie...I understand your sentiments about your blog...I feel the same at times...but in a different vein...I am a gifted is one of the few things I do well but I a(even at the age of 35) a little on the rebellious side and I start getting belligerant about "having" to write something because it has been awhile so I won't do it and then I feel guilty after awhile for not having blogged because I read so many and I feel like I have let them down so I blog out of is a never ending circle..I guess the point of all this rambling is to say...write when you want to write and remember that people value your words not because of wit but because of the emotional contenet. When you write something taht means something to you, it will mean something to others as well. I look forward to going back and starting to read your blog from the beginning. Good luck girlie...Jil

  9. Just been catching up on all my reading and found this. Okay, I will do some honest things about myself, in the next week. Maybe today!!