Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Now I get it!!!

Huh, now I get how to do this Change colour thing, Thanks so much to both Lynda and Jackie for showing me the way. I always compose in html, so it is funny so do it this way, although I think I like it alot more.....I always wondered how Chris H changed it, I thought she must know heaps of HTML code for the colours...LOL.

Anyway back to yesterday, the doctors, well I was armed with information as to what I thought has happened, you see I have developed lots of little bruise like lumps on my shins and thighs. After doing some research (okay google) I dedcided that they were called "Erythema Nodosum" which explains the lumps and the joint pain that I have been having over the past month and that is exactly what the doctor thinks as well. However he is not sure how I have got that as there can be many causes to having this.....

Anyway - long story short he is doing a huge range of blood tests on me this morning that won't be processed till next week, so I pretty much have to put up with it till at least then. There are pretty much two things that he is concerned about - one being mal-nutrition, and some of my figures from the bloods we ran at work indicate that I am not absorbing the vitamins etc (which may explain why the protein shake helped a little) and the other one, which is the one that is going to take a while to come back with a result is Rheumatoid Arthritis, which I am really scared about.......so we won't think about that until the results are back.

I also asked him to do a thryroid check as my weightloss has jsut stopped dead and I need to understand it, is it just that I am mal-nourished from the Gastric bypass and that is all, or do I and have I always had an underlying thyroid condition. He didn't want to do it at first, but then on the other hand he said I was still "carrying too much weight" for my joints, and I pretty much then demanded it to rule it out of the equation......I am not sure how you can tell someone who has lost over 75 kgs that they are "carrying to much weight" for their joints........!!!!!

OH, and he has given me some more cream for my ezcema, and some shampoo and urgghhhh I just NEED to feel well, especially looking for jobs, going to interviews when I can hardly walk, and I am a bit cloudy in the head is not a good look.

Anyway, just because I now can, I am going to change colour........hehehe. Have a fantastic day everyone. Remember if you hear of work inthe Palmy area that you think I could do, drop me a line.........well, feel free to drop me a line anytime......!!!


Monday, May 25, 2009

Not well again

Well had another bad weekend of up and down and pain in my lower joints it was crippling. I now have little raised lumps over my shins and thighs. I am booked into see the doctor this afternoon and I really think that these two things are actually related to the low potassium, calcium and sodium in my system (we ran bloods at work) and I think this is also possibily directly related to why my weightloss has stopped completely. In fact today it was up by almost 2 kgs again.

So I am going to ask for a full blood screen.
I am going to ask for a thyroid check as low potassium can be an indicator of an under active thyroid......which may explain the weight situation.

Anyway - will update later......btwm can anyone tell me how you change the colour of your text part way through a post.....so I can show that it was added at a later time? (Chris H - I think you will answer this one)!!!

Anyway - back later in the day with an update.

Thursday, May 21, 2009

Wow - what a day

I have had the most amazing day today. It started like most days, off to work, etc nothing special, but this morning I decided to check my gmail email which is where I have notifications from facebook and emails via my blog.

Well I got this email from Roz who has been reading my blog for years and years......and also reading alot of others as well. She has been mainly a lurker but she has shared my ups and downs including from my old blog when I was on WW and when Mum died......she has been one of my blogging family for a long time.

Well today, she emailed me. You see, she is my half sister and although we me once, for a variety of reasons we did not keep in touch. Years later - i am blogging, she is reading, but as i never published my surname, and probably for a whole heap of other reasons, she just didn't click to who I was.........until yesterday when talking to her step mother my name came up and it was mentioned that I had had a gastric bypass. She asked if I was married to Simon and then after a few more questions it all fell into place and she then emailed me this morning.

We have already emailed back and forth and talked on the phone, and she has spoken to Sarah, he sister and therefore my other half sister and I can't wait to be able to talk to both of them. I am going to get to see Roz again in July when she is up this way.........this is such a crazy small world, and you just get the feeling there is a higher power responsible for making all of this happen now.

So - yay. I am super excited.....I have gained two sisters today!!!!!!!!! AND Roz - this means you have to comment more!!!!!!!!!!! LOL

Monday, May 18, 2009

The Power of Protein

Well I never would have thought that my protein shake could have as much impact as it has. I stopped having my protein shake about a month ago due to the cost of the powder and the yoghurt. and when did my Weightloss come to a crashing stop just after it had started again? When did my ezcema start getting worse? When did I get so emotional? When did I start the leg cramps etc? Around the time I stopped having my protein shakes.

Granted I think some of these things are also because of slightly out of whack vitamin levels and stress, but since I re-intorduced the protein shakes on Friday night I have only had 1 cramping episode and I have actually not been crippled by the pain in the evenings. My in laws have said my colour is looking heaps better as apparently I was very pale, and I just generally feel more ontop of things even though I am still going to be out of work in 6 weeks!!!

Now, most of you probably don't know but he company I work for also sells diagnostic machinery to vet clinics, and it is the same machinery for humans, so I got one of the vets to take some blood off me (he used to work in a human blood lab) and we processed it thourhg our machines here. And it showed that I was low in sodium, potassium and calcium.......we couldn't run a magnesium one, but we kinda assumed that it might be low as well. So i went to the chemist and we took a look at the supplements I am on now, and a way forward to try and make the figures better - so we have changed the calium to an effervesant tablet which tastes like orange, and we have added magnesium into the mix as well.

This weekend was great - it is Simons 40th Birthday today so we had some friends and family over for a pot luck BBQ (si's fav) and we had a blast. He got some really cool pressies including a weekend away to River Valley and it looks like it will be a nice escape for the two of us once things settle down. We then had team trivial pursuit which was boys vs girls and was pretty even matched!! A great night had by all and it was fantastic to see our friends Dennis & Lisa come up from Wellington.

Sunday we just pottered around home - I was meant to be looking after the mini golf but rain put pay to that!!! Which was a relief actually as I was kinda tired and needed a lay down. In the evening we played our game which all of our online friends camne to a birthday party at a special location in the game. They had fireworks and birthday cake and beer and we all had funny singing happy birthday to Si. And some people even gace his character presents......which was really nice and made him feel appreciated by them.

Tonight, which is actually his birthday we are going to see Star Trek.....it will be Simon, me, his Mum and Dad. THe last time I saw a Star Trek movie at the cinema I feel asleep and at the moment I am yawning like crazy so I hope I can stay awake. Lukily we are going to the 5:40pm session so should not be too hard.

Oh and my scales need batteries as they weigh all over the place, so I am not 100% sure what my weight is at the moment. I seemed to get the most readings at 100.1 kgs so if that is true then I should hit under the hundy by next week.......but will have to wait till Friday before I can buy the batteries - so I might just wait till next week to see what it officially is. We will see if the Power of Protein is accurate!!!!

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Okay - I NEED your help!!!!

I need some suggestions/ideas for what I can do regarding work etc. I haave about 6 weeks left of work and there is just nothing out here at the moment. Do I take a couple of days off next week and pretty much pound the pavement with my CV teaser (a two page CV) or I just sit back and wait for the agencies?

I am thinking that by at least getting myself out there then I could pick up at least part time work, but that means that I would be giving away fulltime work here. Ot do I talk to my boss here and say – if I find part time work before the 6 weeks is up can I just go part time here until then? And work out what my hourly rate would be?

I am so uncertain about how to approach this and I really don’t want to miss an opportunity of even part time work that might lead to something more. There is just nothing on our job market at the moment and I am feeling quite helpless.

So I really need your suggestions, and please do comment, even if you think it has already been suggested so I can gauge what people think. I know that I have many lurkers, and I am pleading with you…..I need you to make yourselves known – even as an anon comment, so I can get a better feeling for what direction I should take.

You can even email me at janine.hallewell@gmail.com

To clarify a couple of things.....I have and am looking at trademe, seek, jobs.govt.nz, the winz job board, the massey website the dhb website, all of the agency websites......daily - if not more than 5 times a day for each one. Palmerston is definately more about word of mouth than anything else, and I almost want to be the first person that people think of, which is why I have been thinking about actually going in to every business and dropping of an info pack. basically making me the product.

Sunday, May 10, 2009

struggling to keep head above water

I am struggling, really starting to struggle with everythign right now. I am sitting here with tears streaming down my cheeks trying not to let it get to me, but not succeeding.

I am fucked off about not hearing about that job and although I know that if they don't hire me, it was definately not my skills, I will be really really hurt and at a loss as to what to do next. I am hating my current job so much at the moment, and it doesn't help that the accountant is sayign things like "so how much are you and Simon going to get on the dole?" that is if they actually speak to me at all.

I am also pissed that we never have any money at the moment. Si is doing his best to make a go of this opportunity and it is starting to pay off and will certainly take the pressure off if it comes to the end of June and I still haven't found work. I am trying really hard to stay positive, but very very hard when it feels like we have been stopped in our tracks.

The weight is just not coming off.....in fact I am back up to 101.8 this morning, and I am still having feet/knee/cramping issues and I find it really hard going to walk for too long. I have been to the doctor and he is certain it is because of my shoes........well bugger me, yes I have flat feet and bunions, but can I afford to go and get orthotics....NO!!!!!!!!!!!!! So once again, I will do the best I can. I can't afford to go to the pool at the moment, and actually even if I could, i wouldn't as I have the most wicked ezcema on my elbows and bum, and upper thighs and they are unsitely and I also now seem to have got some sort of blisters/ezcema on my nose and face, and just feel like I am falling apart.

I am on wicked does on anti biotics at the moment for a recurring cyst (on my groin)that just wont go away and it is painful and the anti-biotics make me extremely tired and very vague and make my dreams really bizarre. last night for example I was extremely concerned that mcDonalds don't use Halal meat........now I am not sure where this has come from as I am not muslim and I don't give a damn if it is halal or not. I also woke up with a fright at one point last night and couldn't breathe.

Today also sucks as it is Mothers Day, well it doesn't suck for everyone else, and I do wish everyone a great Mothers Day, but for me I miss my Mum, and it is far to wet to go to the cemetary and just have a chat. It also would have been Mum and Da's 51st weddign anniversary if she had still been together. I am also kinda sad that I am not yet a mother and it feels liek I am running out of time. I know I am only 36 and that if I got pregnant tomorrow i would only be 37 when I had a bubs.....but realistically I am not sure it is going to happen.

So today I am sad and frustrated for a number of reasons. Thanks for letting me bleat now I am going to go and play some World of Warcraft so I can escape for a bit and keep warm in the computer rooma s our fireplace has been condemned and I am damn cold.

Monday, May 4, 2009

closer - but not close enough

Well after the blip up last week things certainly have come back down......sitting at 100.9 kgs this morning, so still 600 gms up on last week, but certainly much better than the 102.6 kgs it went up to last Tuesday.

I really have no clue as to what my body is thinking or doing half the time.

I am still job hunting, I have not yet heard anything back about the interview that I had, and they said it would most likely not be till the end of this week. I am getting kinda nervous about it really as there it not alot else out there at the moment, and I am getting scared. It is certainly hard not to let it play on your mind and distract you from what you need/should be doing.

Anyway - need to get on with work, have a Lions meeting to go to tonight, but all I really want to do is sleep.....very tired for some reason.