Am, I ready to be ME?????????? YES I AM!!!!!!! It basically comes down to what I want and not anyone else can drive that. Yesterday I was going to go to the gym with friends, and then they rang to say that they couldn't go......did I go on my own cos I wanted to.......NO!!!!!!!!!! We arranged to go today instead, so I rang this morning, and something has come up for them, and they can't go................ am I going to let that stop me going? NO!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am doing this for ME!!!!!!! I am the only one who can do this for me, I can't do it for you, like you can't do it for me.
I have been watching videos alot over the last couple of days, mainly on you tube of people like Rosemary (from yesterday's post) and Miss Janie.......I also went back and rewatched a few of my own videos, which made me sad, as even back in April 2009, I was struggling:- sure that was before my diagnosis of my auto immune liver disease.
So, I am going to do this for ME, and I will not quit, I will keep going, no matter how long it takes, and I will live for ME everyday, and I will celebrate ME, the ME I am today, not the ME I think I want to be. If I honor who I am today, and live for ME today, then I will succeed!!!!!
Here is a clip from Miss Janie about regain. The bit that really gets me is towards the end, where she asks:
"what is it that YOU want, not what anyone else wants or what anyone else thinks is right, WHAT do YOU want, what is going to make you happy?"
So what do I want? I want to be healthier, which actually means doing that......not just saying I want it, but following through with the choices I make for ME. It means cutting back the carbs, drinking the water, getting in some exercise and getting out and living, instead of sitting back on the couch just watching life go past. I am going to get out there and participate in life again!!!!!!! I somehow lost the want to participate. But I have found it again. It means posting more, it means putting more videos up but more importantly it is about living life for ME and what I want!!!!!!!!!!!!!