Monday, January 3, 2011

Learn the art of negotiation

This is one I definitely have to master, as I find it so easy to get sidetracked by other people or situations when it comes to both my WLS foods and my gluten free. Sometimes it is just more convienient to go with the flow, rather than making a fuss, and I know sometimes that I sound brasher than I intend when telling someone that I can't eat something, or that that is a bad choice for me. So I need to work on this NAWLS Small Bite. I know I have done this in WW before, but I struggle with this, especially with Simon. So I need your help and suggestions on how to negotiate with situations and people. 

Learn the art of negotiation.
Living and working with non-WLS patients requires diplomacy. While you need a WLS -friendly environment at home and at work, others may feel strongly about bringing in unhealthy foods and beverages. 

Negotiations can range from what to say during meals to what goods trigger you to overeat. The sooner you establish boundaries, the more comfortable everyone will be with your new lifestyle.

Action for the day:
In your journal, list three things friends, family or coworkers do that add to your temptation and stress. Rehearse in your mind a negotiation process you can initiate. Begin that process today. 
© 2007, Katie Jay. All rights reserved.

So this is a tough one for me, and I know there are alot of triggers and situations where I crumple with my resolve. I REALLY do want you to COMMENT today as I do need this feedback and suggestions.

  • I guess Simon has to be one of my biggest influencers when it comes to food. Although he is wanting to work on his fitness and eating, sometimes his food choices don't reflect that, and I tend to get caught up in it. It is hard to tell the person that you love that you don't think they should be eating that, or that no we can't have it as it is bad for me. 
  • Work - we have team meetings every week, which usually revolve around food. We also have a cafeteria, which does have some healthy WLS options, they are not good for me from a Gluten Free perspective. I guess for me it just means I have to take my own food, and not be distracted by other food. By maybe leaving my money card at home, it means there are not other options but to eat what I have taken.
  • Coke Zero - I am trying not to have it and to up my water intake, but there is something about it that just gets me. Water seems so boring!!!!!!!!!! I know I spice it up with a little bit of lemon barley, but I really do need to just stop drinking it. I did at work and limited it to just at home, but I really do need to jsut break the addiction. I know the caffeine will not be helping with water retention or with sleeping well. 
 So, there you have 3 things that trigger me to stop being on track. There are a multitude more, and I need to get a handle on these, and find ways to negotiate through them successfully. As I said, I really need your ideas and suggestions on this one. I know you are reading from how much the numbers go up, so please leave a comment with a can be from Mickey Mouse for all I can, I just need the feedback.


  1. Perhaps Simon can have a Simon food day one day a fortnight? Work leave money card at home definitely, Does ice cold water help WE freeze our bottles over night so our water slowly defrosts and stays ice cold so the drinking pleasure is all day ice cold water.

  2. Hi Janine.

    You asked for comments.

    I'm not sure how helpful I will be but we are a two person household. John can eat anything he likes and he does. He could do with losing 5 -10 kg but he doesn't worry.

    From way back, when we were first married, he preferred to get his own breakfast. He also was very happy getting his own packed lunch ready. All I had to do was the shopping and keep the cupboard stocked with his favourites.

    Snacks:- he likes the odd biscuit, and home baking but doesn't eat them fast enough.... ie they often go stale before he gets to the end of a packet. I gave up baking because although I enjoy it I was the main eater. We make sure his supply is in non-see-through container on a shelf above my eye level. He likes icecream and a few other things I don't bother with so he has his stuff which I only eat occasionally. He eats canned fruit, I only like fresh. He eats bread, at least 4 slices a day but sometimes 8. For me bread is a trap, one of my triggers, my go-to food when tired. He buys bread I don't really like so most of the time I don't touch it. I do keep a pkt of Gluten free bread in the freezer now.

    Dinner is the main meal and time we eat the same food in varying amounts and omissions. We are both meat eaters and like our veggies. Sometimes I get creative but most of the time we have meat, various veggies, potatoes and salad. I don't eat potatoes every day. In fact I often go weeks without eating them. Pasta and rice are rare foods in our house.

    Basically it is up to me to turn a blind eye to my trigger foods and keep a good stock of things that are safe for me to snack on.

    Time and experience has helped me find a way to cope most of the time.

    The hardest part has been communication of my needs. It's become easier of late when I've been able to explain how starches and sugars affect my health in regard to Candid Albicans. The problem is more mine than his although it's very hard to talk to someone who doesn't 'get' food addictions. John is learning not to become the food police too. If after all my moaning I decide to eat something less good he accepts that as my choice and usually bites his tongue and keeps quiet.

    I have totally lost the plot once or twice when I was determined to stay on track and the day turned into a food unfriendly day for me. He has become quite cautious about these situations because I'm not pretty when I 'lose it.' I don't really have the kind of support I need in my family so I've learned too talk about food cautiously and as little as possible. Even my daughter, who has major weight issues and goes to WW, and I do not communicate well. She doesn't get my approach and I don't see WW working all that well for her.

    My support is 99% on-line.

    This doesn't look particularly helpful for your situation but That's how we do it.


  3. Leaving the card at home is a good start, and like Blondie I freeze my water, tastes nicer in this heat. Ummmm no more suggestions sorry lol....